I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, I really just need an outlet to vent my frustrations and today was the day! First let me start off by saying, I love my S/O, we were best friends for over half my life before we ended up together. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, he has 2 kids from a previous relationship, then we have 1 together. Blending our family should have come so easily since we were all in each others lives prior to us being together anyways but that just has not been the case in our situation. For someone who I was so certain I knew, I am quickly finding out how wrong I was. He is everything I don’t want in a partner, and I do mean EVERYTHING. When we started dating he had a job, it didn’t pay much but with both of our incomes we made it by. I got Pregnant in November of 2019 and by February 2020 Covid was a full blown thing so as a construction worker he was laid off due to the pandemic. Meanwhile, I was working in healthcare (essential) with no option of working from home. As my pregnancy progressed it got bad, very high blood pressure, ankles the size of basketballs, constantly sick, etc. yet everyday I would drive home on my lunch break to do dishes, throw in a load of laundry, lay something out for dinner, whatever chores needed done, then I would return to work and then come home and finish everything. Meanwhile, this man who was laid off would sit all day every day doing nothing but playing video games so I was working, paying the bills, and taking care of the entire household. Fast forward to June of 2020 I got put on maternity leave early because my health was declining fast, it was paid maternity leave so we were still able to survive. I gave birth in July of 2020 and was due to return to work the end of September. In the mean time I was dreading going back to healthcare and bringing something home to my new baby, I was working in an urgent care office so my family helped him get in to a construction position making more money than we were both making combined so that I could stay home with the baby. This is when I started to see a whole new side of him. I knew he was a drinker but it escalated, he started having more money than he was ever used to having and he was blowing every extra bit of it on alcohol. We have had several incidents due to his drinking, I will go in to those later, but here we are almost 3 years later and his 2 older kids have now realized that he is an alcoholic, he has been through more jobs than I can count in the past few year because no company wants to keep him, I’ve heard from other people he has worked with that he is lazy, on his phone all day, and top it off with the fact that he drinks so much he misses at least 2 days a week. He is laid off in the winters due to weather so he has only been back to work since March and has already been through 6 companies. We struggle every month to pay bills, my family has to help nearly every month, with bills and groceries because he is drinking the money away. He is everything I don’t want in my life or my children’s lives, I’m trying to stick it out because he already drives drunk with his other 2 children and couldn’t care less, he even gets his 18 year old son drunk with him to the point he was missing school and almost didn’t graduate. I want to tell him to leave but I can’t have the courts giving him visitations and risk putting my baby in that situation. I don’t have childcare help and refuse to leave her with strangers so I am currently searching for remote jobs. I know I have to find a way to get the bills paid, he makes sure to throw in my face every chance he gets that I don’t contribute financially, even though it was just me for almost an entire year taking care of him and my child and the entire house, now he contributes financially and I take care of all the kids and I still do everything around the house, I don’t ask him to lift a finger, he doesn’t even do much as take out the trash, no yard work, nothing, I do it all! I know this was a long post but this wasn’t even half of it, I will update more incidents day by day but for tonight I’m laying here with our baby while he is currently laid off for the 6th time in 4 months and we have yet to pay any bills and he has been missing for almost 8 hours, I found out he’s at the bar drinking the money away. I’m not looking for sympathy, I just would like to know if there is anyone else in my situation or has been previously. If so how are you or did you handle it? Any type of support system would be amazing.